Understanding Self-Esteem

Most people think they know what "self-esteem" means. No dictionary needed. But if you ask me, that assumption falls short. The word goes deeper than that.

So what is self-esteem?

Simply put, self-esteem is how you assess your own worth. You look at yourself and estimate your value: not in money, not in things, but in your own immeasurable worth. In fact, it is realizing that you are worth more than anything money can buy. For those who know itaŋiKom, the phrase is "Kuo nɨ chuo wi wul": an agreement on a human's immense value.

Each person's road to self-esteem is different. What matters is the destination. The process keeps going, but when you reach a point of quiet confidence in your own worth, that is when self-esteem takes root and grows.

Watch a person whose self-esteem has been boosted. S/he is transformed. Self-esteem can change individuals, communities, even nations. It raises our consciousness and shapes how we move through the world.

And here is the other side: if you rely on others to do what you can do for yourself, you become dependent on them. That dependence eats away at your self-esteem.

Self-esteem, Kom style

For a Kom person, self-esteem is rooted in cultural identity. Kom is not just a place to live. It gives life a deeper meaning, and that sense of worth stands on:

• a strong kingdom with shared values that guide life and decisions;
• physical symbols and objects that belong to Kom and no one else;
• our own language, signs and symbols, which tell us where we belong;
• a flexible culture that can absorb influences (from neighbouring tribes, from Western civilization, from neo-colonial elements) and still keep its essence.

The core of Kom culture is still intact. But here is the question: how long can it hold out against the pressure from outside before it morphs into something we cannot recognize?

In today's global world, where cultures shift all the time, how a Kom person feels about themselves inside the bigger global culture directly affects their self-esteem. Someone could even study it and come up with a "self-esteem rating", from 10 (excellent) down to 0 (no sense of self-worth at all). Until someone does that study, this ramble is just to get us talking about self-esteem: something invisible, but crucial to being human.

So, how is your self-esteem? How do you see your own worth? You tell me.

Let's keep thinking, sharing and building each other up. Self-esteem is the foundation of a strong community.

TM

— Wanaku Verdzekov